Cancer Equals

My name is Precious. In 2012 and at the age of 33, I was diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia. Cancer wasn't on my mind when I first went to the GP. I had all the symptoms, didn't know what they were and I remember going to the GP several times and he just kept saying you're stressed, you're tired. I knew something wasn't okay but I just couldn't vocalise, I didn't know what to ask for or where to go. I had the symptoms in December and I was diagnosed in June, so six months walking and living with the symptoms before I could start treatment. So that was a long time. My diagnosis experience was quite dramatic as most things in my life can be sometimes. I remember waking up one morning and my tummy was just hurting so bad. It was a Saturday morning. I had a commitment, so off I went, I got dressed and got on the Northern Line. And the last thing I remember is throwing up and passing out. And I remember waking up in the station manager's office and just apologising. And he was a Nigerian guy and he said, Something is not right. I'm going to call you an ambulance. And I kept saying, No, no. I've got a work commitment. Let me go and do the work and then I'll sort out my health. And he said, Your health is more important. Let's call an ambulance. Let's get you into hospital. And a few hours later, I got diagnosed with chronic myeloid leukaemia. I come from a community that doesn't talk about cancer. You know, you hear people say, you know, it's a curse. It's something that happens to bad people. It's something that happens because you haven't lived well. So that's the sort of community I come from. There's a lot of shame around people having cancer and the whole concept of it. So people don't talk about it, people do not get help simply because they just want to hide away from the shame. But just the more we talk about it, more we can get other people feeling safe enough to get the help that they need. When I got diagnosed with cancer, I wasn't able to work for a long time because I was in and out of hospital, in and out of chemo and radiation, so it was really tough. I didn't have a job, I had to sign on, and it was a huge drop in income for me as well. I got to a point where I went into debt. Cancer does hit, it hits the finances of the person going through it and also their loved ones. A good example, my brother, at the time of my diagnosis he was newly wed, my wife was pregnant. It was rough cause he was constantly coming to hospital, constantly looking after me and when you think about it, all those journeys, the food he brought, trying to sort out my mom's immigration so she could come and see me and visit me, it took a toll on him financially, mentally. You know, there are things he doesn't talk about, but I know it really impacted him and it drained me financially. But I can't quantify the impact it had on him. And in the end, ended up being my stem cell donor and I know that took a hit on him too. Gosh. I joined several patient groups after diagnosis because it just felt like a really lonely landscape. Through them I got to meet people my age, got to actually bond on the big C word. So my experience as someone who is black has actually come in very handy because there's a whole population of black and Asian people who have big cultural things behind them who need cancer demystified and that's something I'm working on. It's been a life overhaul for me so I'm still trying to adjust. You would think after all this time I'd be in a good space and not needing to adjust but it's a pivoting I'm still having to do. Advice I'd give to someone in my position is hang in there. It will change you, it will flip you 100%, but you've got what it takes. Build yourself a good community because you will need them and you need to be open, you need to be vulnerable and you need to ask for help. Go on adventures and cook and eat and love and get a dog.

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